


I can be everything, since you keep by your side

by constelacao



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Hungover, I Tried, Lack of Communication, Light Angst, M/M, Memory Related, One Shot, Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 22:33:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6827899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constelacao/pseuds/constelacao
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em> Louis remembers that Harry said he would be late for the party last night because he had a test that he couldn't skip.</em><br/><em>He doesn't know if Harry really came last night. If he saw how drunk he was.</em><br/><em>Now he regrets being so drunk before Harry even arrived.</em><br/>or the one where Louis has a huge hangover and doesn't remember a thing from last night, neither if he and Harry had a fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I can be everything, since you keep by your side

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So, this is the bigger story I've wrote here, and like Uncle Ben taught SpiderMan: "With great power comes great responsibility".
> 
> I always like to warn you all that English is not my first language, so that's the reason for any problem with grammar and vocabulary (but I'm trying to improve it!).
> 
> Thank you for choosing to read this story, I hope you like it! :)

Louis wakes up with his head aching. Shit!  
Yesterday was the last game of his football team, and they just won the championship, so the team throw a party to celebrate.  
He doesn't remember too much from last night. Before arriving at the place that the party would be, he was already drunk. They've been drinking since the game ended, to be fair.

When Louis opens his eyes, he realises that this isn't any of the bedrooms he's been before. Fuck! Why is he here?  
By the constante presence of pink in this decoration, he supposes he is in a girl's bedroom.  
The first thing he does when he notices it is look if he is wearing all his clothes. Of course he wouldn't sleep with a girl - because he likes boys - but a girl could have done something he didn't intend to do, but he was so wasted to contest.  
So, all his clothes are on the right place. It's not so bad. Or is it?  
But... Where the fuck is Harry?

Louis remembers that Harry said he would be late for the party last night because he had a test that he couldn't skip.  
He doesn't know if Harry really came last night. If he saw how drunk he was.  
Now he regrets being so drunk before Harry even arrived.  
He looks for his phone, hoping it's somewhere near to be found. He really doesn't remember anything from last night!  
Fortunately it is on the table near the window, with his wallet and his keys.  
He doesn't know who is the owner of this room, but it's probably someone really nice.  
There's only one message from Harry, that he sent 10 hours ago saying " _I'll be there at 10!_ ". Nothing more.  
He sends a " _good morning_ " text to Harry, and waits some minutes for the reply. It doesn't come.

Perrie opens the door of the bedroom.  
\- Thanks God it's your room, Pez! - Louis says, feeling the relief on his chest.  
\- How do you feel, Lou? You look better than I thought you would be! - She hands him a cup of tea.  
\- I didn't remember anything from last night and my head is aching, but besides it, I think I'm ok - He sips the tea for a while, trying to remember something - Did you see Harry last night? Did we fight? He's not answering my text.  
\- I don't know what happened between you two last night, I wasn't there when he arrived and left few minutes after. But some people said he was pissed off and maybe you two argued and that was the reason he left? I really don't know what is true or what is gossip, you know, people like these little white lies...  
\- Fuck! Why did I get so drunk last night? I don't even know what I should be sorry about if pissed off with me!  
\- Ask him, though!

Louis decides calling Harry, but he doesn't answer his phone.  
His next option is call Niall. He is Harry's flatmate and could have some information for Louis.  
\- Hey Louis, what's up bro? - Niall answers the call, seeming not to know that anything isn't right between Louis and Harry.  
\- Hey Ni! Have you seen Harry? Is he in the flat?  
\- No, I thought he was with you... He didn't sleep here bro!  
\- Oh, fuck! Thank you Niall! Do you know where... where he could be? I'm afraid that maybe we fought last night, he isn't answering my texts and calls.  
\- I have no idea Lou, I'm sorry I can't help you!  
\- Actually, you really can - Louis pauses for a moment, thinking about how odd is what he's going to ask - Can you call him and check if he will answer you? I'm afraid he's not choosing not to answer me, but... I'm afraid he's sick or something worse... I... All of sudden I'm afraid to lose him.  
Louis didn't see it coming, but he can feel some tears forming in his eyes.  
\- Sure, bro! I'll hang up now and call him, if he doesn't answer I call you back... and if he does, I'll tell him how much you're worried!  
\- Thank you, Nialler!  
Louis keeps the silence after Niall hangs up. The idea of Harry being mad with him is bad. But the idea of Harry being sick, hurt or dead is even worse. He can't think about it!

Some minutes after the phone call, Louis receives a message from Harry:  
" _I'm ok, just need to be alone for a while._ "  
Louis sees Harry is still online and doesn't miss the chance of calling him again.  
This time Harry answers, but doesn't say a thing.  
\- Harry? Are you ok, love? What happened? Are you mad at me?  
\- Louis, please, I just need a time for myself, can you... - Silence. Painful silence. - Can you leave me alone for a while?  
\- Please talk to me, Harry! I'll give you the time you need, but I just want to understand why you're sad! I want to apologize but I don't even know what I've done. I know it's my fault because I was so wasted last night.. Is that? You're mad because I got drunk before you arrived at the party? Say something Harry!  
Silence is all Louis hears. But Harry is still there, he can hear his breath. Until the moment he hangs up.  
Harry doesn't answer any of his questions. But now Louis knows he's safe. And this is good. The first good thing that happened to him today.

Louis decides calling Zayn. They're best friends, and he needs to talk to someone. Maybe Zayn can help him to figure things out.  
\- Louis? Are you ok, mate? - Zayn answers his call, and by his voice Louis can notice he's a little preoccupied - Liam said Harry came here last night, I thought he was supposed to be at your party. Did you two.... - He doesn't finish the sentence, but Louis knows what he means. He thinks they broke up. But Louis doesn't know what to answer because he doesn't remember,  
\- Is he still there with Liam? Did he sleep in your flat?  
\- No, he just watched a movie with Liam, but he didn't sleep here. What happened, Louis?  
\- Well... I don't know! I woke up this morning and I didn't remember anything from last night. I'm at Perrie's flat because I was so wasted last night that she took pity at me. She said we probably argued, but she didn't see when it happened, somebody told her, and she doesn't know if it's totally true... I called Harry and he said he wants a time to himself, and seems he's mad at me, but I don't know what I did! - Louis sighs - Is Liam at home? Maybe they talked last night and he can help me to figure out...  
\- Liam is at uni, he had classes this morning, but send a text to him! He sure will help you, Liam considers you two like his brothers, you know! And if you want to come here to talk, I'll be free all the afternoon!  
\- Thank you, Z! I'll let you know when I'm coming! Now I'll text Liam and try to solve this puzzle.

Liam answers his text saying he has more one hour of class, but that they can meet after it.  
Louis decides going to Niall's flat because he doesn't want to bother Perrie anymore - although she said he can take the time he needs to recompose himself. Actually, he hopes that Harry will go home at some point and it would be good if he met Louis there, just for Harry to know he cares.  
He enters in the flat without knocking the door because they don't need these formalities anymore. When Louis sits on the couch, Niall comes from the kitchen.  
\- Do you want some? - Niall offers, and Louis thinks is some tea or snacks, but when he turns around to see what Niall is offering it's actually a beer. Louis knows he shouldn't drink it because he's still hungover, but he's feeling so bad right now that just one beer wouldn't be a big deal. So he accepts.  
\- Thank you, bro! - Louis' voice sound tired, and that's what he is right now. But it's not physical, what he feels comes from inside, it's deeper.  
\- So, did you talk to him?  
\- He called me and asked a time for himself...  
\- You really don't remember anything from last night?  
\- Nothing Ni! I just remember Harry said he would be late for the party because he had a test and...  
Niall interrupts him to say:  
\- Sorry bro, but I don't think Harry had a test yesterday. You know how it is when he studies for his tests, a lot of books and stuff for days. He didn't bring any book here the past weeks, and he wasn't locked in his room like he used to be when he wants to concentrate. I think I saw he reading some papers, but it didn't seem to be related to uni stuff.  
\- So you're saying Harry lied to me?  
\- I don't know, I'm just trying to help you to solve this problem. Maybe he wanted to make you a surprise?  
\- Did he talk about to you about it?  
\- I shouldn't say it to you, but actually he commented some time ago that he likes making surprises and asked me what I thought about it.  
Louis doesn't know what to think. Maybe he screwed up Harry's surprise. He tries to remember what he and Harry did last night, but nothing comes to his mind.  
After some minutes in silence on Niall's couch, he decides going to the Cafe where he'll meet Liam, because now he is the one who feels the need to be alone.

While Louis is waiting for Liam, he keeps thinking what he can be done wrong for Harry being so pissed off with him. He tries to remember if in the last days, weeks, maybe months, Harry didn't show that something was going wrong.  
Louis and Harry are friends since they were kids. They've been best friends since the world was easy for both of them.  
Harry told Louis he liked boys when he was 15. It took Louis more 2 years to accept that he liked boys too. He was 19 and had a girlfriend at the time. She wanted to take a step further in their relantionship and Louis didn't feel ready. When he talked to Harry about it, the younger boy asked him:  
\- What do you feel about her?  
\- I like her, Harry. But... - Louis paused and felt Harry's gaze on him.  
\- You don't like her. Not in the way you should to keep going. There's something missing in your relantionship, or it wouldn't have this "but".  
\- I don't know what is wrong with me! She is a good girl, and really likes me! Why don't I like her back? I want to like her back!  
\- Lou, don't be mean to yourself, love! You can't be forced to like someone! Real love is not about it, you want it to be about brain, but it is about heart. You can't control your heart. - Harry hugged him, and Louis felt some tears coming slowly down his cheeks.  
\- Maybe I'm afraid to be who I am - Louis said, almost whispering.  
\- Don't be afraid, I'm here with you Lou! - Harry hugged him tight, and for the first time he accepted himself like he was.  
They've been just best friends until both of them came to uni. For the past year they developed a friends-with-benefits relationship, in which they always go home together at the end of the night if none of them finds a boy to come home with before it. Sometimes, even if they didn't go out, they spend the night together trying something new (most of the time sex related, but sometimes Harry wants to try a new recipe). Their old friendship made them able to try everything in bed (and everywhere), knowing each other pretty much for trying any source of new things. Most of the time they bring up some research about sex practices, start talking about it, and end after both of them achieve the orgasm.  
Before they started with the friends-with-benefits thing, both of them agreed that it would be just about sex and tries (because none of them had lot of sex experiences and they wanted be ready for uni boys) and that if they felt their friendship changed in the minimum way, they would stop with it at the same time. It's working for a while, but now Louis doesn't know if it will work anymore.  
Looking backward Louis sees that they've been acting like a couple for some months. Harry suggested they started trying Dom/Sub and it took a lot of their times making researchs and finding the right ways that both of them would feel good and achieve their orgasms. It seems easy in the movies, but it's actually delicated. So, because of it, they've been talking about it almost all the time they are together. And when they're not talking about sex, they are acting like an old couple - cooking together, laying on the couch on a Saturday night just cuddling and watching a silly movie, or talking about each other all the time for everybody. Well, he doesn't know if Harry talks about him with his hipster friends, but he's always talking about Harry to his football mates.  
Maybe Harry realised it too, that Louis hasn't been with any guy for the past months besides Harry. But Louis doesn't remember Harry being with anyone either. Maybe the reason why he's pissed off is because they didn't stop it like they said they would do. But Louis didn't figure it out until now. And if Harry saw that Louis was mixing the feelings, why he didn't talk to Louis?

When Liam arrived at the Cafe, Louis was away in his thoughts.  
\- Hey Louis! - Liam calls him, and he looks up. \- Hi Liam! \- So what's up between you and Harry? He came to my flat last night and he was really upset... \- Well, that's why I want to talk to you mate. I don't remember what happened last night. Some people said me and Harry had a fight, but Perrie doesn't know if it's true and I really don't know what made Harry be so upset. When I tried to call him he said he needed a time for himself. Niall didn't see him either, and he also doesn't know what this could be about, so I thought maybe Harry said something to you last night? \- Well, we didn't talk last night because he was... he cried a lot, Louis. So I suggested to watch a movie to calm him down. I didn't tell Zayn that Harry was crying so hard because I knew he would call you at the same time, and I didn't know if it would help Harry. He was so sad, Louis! \- Please, Liam, he didn't say anything? Even if you think it'll not help... I don't know what to think right now and any word he said can help me to figure things out - Louis sighs. He's jaded, emotionally jaded. All he wants right now is lay by Harry's side and just be there, together, staring the ceiling without thinking about anything. Just them. \- Louis, like I said we didn't talk. When he was crying he kept saying some meanless things like "Why?" and "I fucked it up!" but I don't how it could help... - Liam doesn't end his sentence because Louis ir running out the Cafe. He can't understand why Harry is thinking he fucked it up. But he needs to talk, he needs to unbosom what he's feeling. Because he thinks he fucked it up too!

Zayn opens the door for Louis. Different from Niall and Harry's flat, this is not like his second home, although Zayn and Liam are some of his best friends.  
Louis hugs Zayn and cries. Tears come slowly down his face. Some minutes after he is sobbing in Zayn's arms, and he doesn't say anything, just hugs Louis tight.  
\- I'm in love with him, Zayn! - Louis confess, between his tears.  
\- With him who, Lou?  
\- Harry! I'm in love with Harry!  
\- But didn't you know it yet?  
\- We've been friends-with-benefits for a while. We discussed it and agreed it would be just about sex, and if our friendship changed because of it we would stop. I didn't see it coming, Z! And I think it's because of it Harry is mad at me. He probably realised I like him more than a friend and doesn't want it to be this way. I'm afraid to lose him - Louis starts sobbing again, and Zayn pats his hair.  
\- Calm down Lou, everything will be fine! You're thinking this because of something Liam told you? Do you want to share it?  
\- Liam said they didn't talk last night, just that Harry was crying a lot. And... - Louis pauses, realising that he's exactly like Harry was last night - And he said he fucked it up!  
\- Just like you right now, huh?  
\- Yeah...  
\- Can you see it?  
\- See what, Z?  
\- You two, having the same reaction... maybe for the same thing? Have you thought about it? That if Harry feels the same he would think he fucked it up too, because HE thinks YOU don't want it to be this way, just like you do about him?  
\- But why didn't he talk to me? I would talk to him when I realised it if he wasn't avoiding me!  
\- Lou, each person has a different way to react about this kind of situation! You want to talk, but maybe he wants to think... Give him the time he needs, and when you two are ready, talk about it! Even if Harry doesn't love you back, what I think it's unlikely to happen, you two are friends since childhood! He never would stop talking to you forever, he's not a dickhead!  
\- You're right, I was just freaking out. - Louis hugs Zayn again, this time without the tears - Thank you for being here!  
\- Whenever you need me bro, I'll be there!

Louis was tired, emotionally tired. He decides going home to take a nap while he waits for news from Harry.  
But he can't sleep, keeps shifting in bed, a lot of thoughts in his mind. He can't be waiting there, so he goes to Harry's flat. Louis doesn't want to bother Niall, so he sits in front of their door, because Harry needs to come home at some point.  
He doesn't see when he falls asleep, and just realises he was sleeping when Harry is calling his name:  
\- Lou, get up, I need to enter in my flat - Harry's voice is low and calm.  
\- Sorry - Louis says, almost ashamed because of his situation, but also a little happy because Harry doesn't seem to be mad at him, even though he found a sleeping Louis in front of his door some minutes before.  
When Harry opens the door, Louis hesitates to enter, until he calls him in:  
\- Come on, we need to talk!  
\- Finally! - Louis lets the word out without noticing it wouldn't be the best moment to point it - I mean, I tried to talk to you all day and you were avoiding me.  
Louis thought Harry would answer, maybe say that he wasn't avoiding him, but he doesn't. He just look at Louis for some seconds, and then go to Niall's room to advise him he's at home.  
\- Ok Niall, he's already here, we're going to talk right now - Harry answers to something Niall said, probably about Louis being worried all day.

When Harry comes back to the kitchen, where Louis is right now, he invites him to his room. Louis follows him and sit on Harry's bed, as Harry tells him to do.  
\- Louis - Harry says, walking from side to side of the room - I... I don't know how to start - he puts his hands on his face - I found out...  
\- I know - Louis interrupts him.  
\- Do you know? Sin-since when?  
\- Actually I found out today, that's why I didn't talk to you before, and it's probably the reason you're not talking to me, right? I'm sorry I didn't realise earlier, but it just felt right..  
\- Aren't you mad at me? -Harry seems confused.  
\- Why would I be mad at you, Harry? - Louis seems more confused than Harry.  
\- Because I didn't tell you that I'm... in love with you?  
\- Are _YOU_ in love with _ME_?  
\- I thought you were talking about it.. 'cause it's what I found out!  
\- I was talking about _ME_ in love with _YOU_ , Harry!  
Harry stares at Louis for some seconds, with his mouth open.  
\- What? I... I... don't know what to say. Are you really in love with me?  
\- Yes, Harry! I realised it today, but I've been feeling it for a while! Like... I didn't hook up with anyone the last months, you probably noticed it... And... We have the best experiences when we are together, you know? Remember when we decided to try costumes? That you dressed like a nurse and I couldn't stop laughing, but we still had a gret sex after it? Or when you failed your test and you weren't in a good mood for sex, so we ordered pizza and watched Harry Potter movies until you fell asleep and I stayed there, watching you to sleep? These are simple situations that I remembered today when I saw you weren't talking to me and I felt so bad because I didn't want to lose it! I realised I didn't want to lose you, and I felt so bad because I thought you probably had noticed that I was in love with you before myself, and that it had screwed up our friendship! - Louis was almost crying at this point.  
\- I'm sorry I didn't talk to you all day, Lou. But I was... I was afraid to lose you too! When I arrived at the party, I had all my plans on my mind: I would tell you that I got the role, and then you would be so happy, and I would kiss you to celebrate and say I love you but... I saw you were very drunk and all my plans fell like sand castles! All I could think about was that you weren't into me like I thought you were, and I didn't know what to do! For a moment I thought about throwing up everything I feel, but you... you were so drunk, maybe you wouldn't remember. So I stopped talking because I didn't want to fight with you, and I ran away to isolate myself because I needed to think about everything and... - Harry doesn't have time to finish his explanation because Louis hugs him tight, sobbing, what makes Harry starts to cry too.  
But they're not sad, it's relief that makes their tears fall. Both of them are happy that now their feelings are clear for each other. Louis releases himself from the hug to look to Harry's eyes:  
\- I'm sorry, love! Now I understand why you needed time for yourself, and I'm very thankful you decided not to fight with me - he gives Harry a fast kiss on his nose - but I really want to know what's the thing about the role? - in Louis's eyes an inquisitive look that Harry already knows. \- Well... I applied for a role at the uni theater group for the play they're preparing for next season and I got it, Lou! - Harry is excited like child talking about their favorite toy.  
\- This is amazing, Haz! - Louis kiss him tenderly - But you never told me you would like to act! I could've help you, after all I'm a drama student!  
\- I know, love! But... I saw how passionate you were about it, the way you talk about acting... about being able to be a lot of people, but still being yourself... I wanted to try it, but I was afraid to disappoint you, because I know it's a serious subject for you and I didn't want you to think that I was mocking your profession and your passion for art! - as Harry speaks, Louis can see in his eyes the passion for acting that Harry himself saw on Louis.  
\- I would never think you were mocking my profession, Harry! - Louis is so delighted for the look in Harry's eyes - I know you'll e amazing on stage, and I'll be on front row!  
Harry hugs him excitedly:  
\- Can you still be my best friend, but also my boyfriend? - the younger boy seems a puppy when he asks.  
\- I can be everything, since you keep by your side.

**Author's Note:**

> So, you've read all of it!! Thank you very much again!!!  
> I would love to know your thoughts about this story!  
> You can comment here or talk to me at Twitter, I'm @MissingBears!


End file.
